no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
