His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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