So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
