Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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