Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
