I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
