Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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