...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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