if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
