apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
