listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
