can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
