Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
