The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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