I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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