just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
