One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
