I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
