I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize