I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
