don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
