is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
