man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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