So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
