I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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