I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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