he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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