Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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