so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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