I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
