Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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