Sry I called you an 8
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
