so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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