Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she woke up with a sticky ear
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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