I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
