Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
