it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
