she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize