also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
