***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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