Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
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This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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