question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
