you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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