ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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