Farmville is her only friend.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
