I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
