They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
