Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
