im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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