what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
