I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You dont lie about slip and slides
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
