dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
