Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
