i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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