you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
