he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
