to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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