I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?