oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.