Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.