we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize