I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
