Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
