Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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