i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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